stepping out of my box

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


stepping out of my box
Current mood: encouraged
Category: encouraged Goals, Plans, Hopes

Personally I this retreat thing was all new to me. When I was asked I of course said yes, then as it got closer and more real I tried to back out. I have and always been a tom-boy and therefore do not do well in situations surrounded by women and women only! I prayed about it and felt compelled to go even knowing I would be sharing a hotel room with 4 women and be surrounded by 80 other women throughout the three days. Then when I had decided I was willing to go the entire amount of the weekend was gifted by someone unknown. (around $250) I knew then that the Lord specifically wanted me there.
Jason took off Friday so that he could watch Pais and I drove myself and 5 other
girls. It started rough, I had a horrible tension headache and to be honest could barely drive... we got there ate dinner and got settled in our rooms. I was blessed with perfect roomies. Two of which I already knew and the third I did not. The second I met her I realized she was everything everyone said she was. WONDERFUL!
The entire weekend was appropriately titled A Diamond In the Rough "uncovering the value of your life" The Lord knew I needed some huge help in this area. I know I am blessed with a wonderful husband who is getting better and better each day taking care of me and Pais, and of course Paisley is wonderful too, DUH! But realizing that I, Me, Traci Kenitzer... was valuable.
I have so much that I learned and took home with me from my weekend but I want to share a lot of it. So here is a scattering of things that spoke to me enough to write in my journal and maybe they will to you too?

Diamonds are : indestructable, hold under pressure, sparkle and draw others near to see the inner beauty
Diamonds start from coal and when applied the right amount of pressure turn into a valuable diamond.
Each test that the Lord puts me through is to put pressure on me to make me His diamond.

Treasures are not to be found with out sweat
Ask for wisdom to understand and know what the hard circumstances are or were for
Wisdom is given by God, He is the only way to true life
see Job 28 1-28

At one point the speaker asked us to write down why we feel we are here this weekend. Here is what I wrote.
The Lord called me here. He chose me to be here this weekend because He has a wonderful plan for my life.

In our weakness He is strong and He will be glorified!

We are already diamonds we just need to be uncovered and shine like a diamond
see Isiah 43:18
God unclogs our lives to let the light shine through reflecting more beautiful things of God... we just have to look and ask!

God wastes no moment, no tribulation, no test happens with out reason. Remember and know that the Lord loves you and chooses you for each trial. Taking you with Him to that next level.
Give me more lord and shine through me!!! Lord I write this to you, faith is something that I was born with. Childlike faith is my specialty. Recently whether lazy or not making the time I have not put God first. I am feeling the pressure to do so. He deserves my all and I truely deeply want to give it to Him. I want to constantly give my all to Him, keeping the door of my heart open to the blessings and miracles that he has for me. I do not want to leave any of my boxes in heaven full. (Ron Mehl used to say that he pictured an area in heaven where there were rooms with boxes. Everyones name was on a box, each box contained all of the blessing that God had intended for each of us before we were even born. That when we get to heaven the Lord will sit down with us and go over our box or boxes showing us all of the miracles He had waiting up here for us that we just never asked) I want to show Paisley and Jason how good it is when you make that choice and follow through with it, daily. It is time, God has chosen me, I am answering the call and going to go forward continually hand in hand with My Lord, My God. I love you so much and more...
Love Traci

see Psalms 107 1-43
it explains that some are wanderers, some are prisoners, some are fools and other are merchants. I stood when she asked who of us consider ourselves wanderers.
in the Psalms it says this of the wanderer "Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle,they were hungry and thirsty... Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and He delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. (Psalms 107 4-9)
I am a wanderer my heart is crying out to be belong and find my place, to feel love... Gods love is the only love that can satisfy me and fulfill me. I know that now!

God is in control.
Fear is OK, it is natural. It is what you do with that fear...
1. what am I going to do? How will I react?
-What comes out of you when you are squeezed? It is what is truly inside of you.
-learn to be happy out in the deep
-let things get out of control
we are not called to live in fear
2. what are you going to do when you are in trouble?
-stand up in courage
-risk walking into the unknown
-you were specifically called to live on the edge, being an example for those who are still afraid to
-live life leaning so far on God that if He was to move you would fall flat on your face, that is real faith (Ron Mehl)

I am a wanderer. But I am created to be a leader. I will take that gift and make the most of my past present and my future!
I will live by faith, be known by love and lead by wisdom.

The Lord giveth and the lord taketh away but blessed be the name of the Lord

Matthew 13:44 The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
He bought that field because he knew the value of it. My life is a field.

let go of the reigns truly be ready and willing to live unbalanced, only then will the Lord have control.

Don't wait to know your worth before you step out. If you wait for everything to be "perfect" or lined up you are waisting time that you could be blessing others and be receiving blessings God has in heaven waiting to grant you.
see 2 corinthians 3,4,5

My personal goals: (please help hold me accountable)
-stop waiting until I feel loved to love others.
-stop waiting to be "rich" to bless others
-stop waiting for a place of comfort to comfort others.
leave my selfishness behind, stand up strong in My Lord, courageous and in prayer touch those who the lord has put on my heart!
Also
Surrender the things that take up my time. Take a fine tooth comb over my day picking out the things I know do not need to be there.
Great freedom comes from great sacrifice
God is faithful, know that God is around the corner waiting, that is all I need to know.

thank you for reading this, I know it was long. I am just so happy to have take so much away from this experience. I will gladly be signing up for the next one. I have many more stories that I might share if i get a chance, but over all it was amazing!
Love Traci