Being Alone

Being alone is a scary thing to me. As I grew up I always surrounded myself around other people. The people I chose to surround myself with were not always the best example. As I get older and slowly but surely more mature, I choose carefully who I fill my time with. I am beginning to surround myself with positive inspiring people that I have stuff in common with. I make the most of each encounter.
Being alone is scary to me because I have been relying on those closest to me (my daughter, husband, friends, family) to make me happy. I was of course getting quite disappointed and even hurt at times when they weren't fulfilling that void for me. I have had to learn that my happiness should have nothing to do with anyone else. Here is something that has opened my eyes and spared many relationships "Remember, you were made for God. Jesus is the only answer for my empty soul." (passage from Tender Mercy For a Mothers Soul by, Anglela Thomas Guffey)
I am beginning to realize that being alone is a good place to be. Not all the time (that is not my personality) but making times throughout my day and week to have "me" time. Turn of the TV, music what ever could be a disturbance and reflect on my life. The past present and future. It can be scary to look at myself and see what is inside, but I am working on being honest and learning to forgive myself. I am my worst critic, I need to change that and be my best cheerleader! This blog will allow me to keep track of everything and I can reflect more accurately on my ups and downs. I will be able to hold myself accountable in certain areas and be proud of myself for in others.
Being alone is something I am fearful of.