Today I became

Today I became Traci. Today I gave my life over to the Lord, in full surrender. Today I became one with Christ. It was a great experience, a bit overwhelming though. The support from family and friends both near and far was a true blessing. It was a bit much having so many people around though... I am looking forward to having time to really digest it all. Each day it will get more and more personal as I draw closer to my Heavenly father!
Now that a few hours have passed and I have had SOME time to reflect on how I feel, I feel a sense of freedom and peace. A peace that is indescribable. I feel complete. My heart is not missing or lacking any longer. I can see God everywhere, in the trees and flowers His presence is everywhere, and now I have eyes to see it all. I feel like each night will be like the night before Christmas, I am filled with anticipation of being used by the Lord to bless others. I am anticipating helping others and loving on them like I could have never done on my own. I feel organized and focused for the first time in my life. The love that my heart feels brings me to tears, because I am worthy. I can not say that I have felt that before. My confidence and courage are not in my own abilities any more, they are in the Lord. So my tank of confidence and courage are over flowing. I can focus out ward on my family, friends and complete strangers because He is taking care of me, so that I can better take care of those around me in His name. The freedom I feel comes from knowing that nothing will have to be done in my strength but now I am accompanied by the Holy Spirit and all of heaven, so I will be unstoppable. Even though it has been hours since my baptism, I have felt life slow down. I do not feel anxiety or rushed. As long as I can remember, I was always a doer always having to be busy. But I am comfortable now to just slow down. Be more meticulous and sincere.
This is just a little bit of what I am feeling most of the feelings are just indescribable. But the main thing is that I have stepped into being TRACI. This whole blog was started a few years ago, I felt a void and I was trying to fill it. BUT that was just the problem I was trying to fill it instead of asking and letting the Lord fill me. He is the only one who can truely fill my heart with joy and love. I will not change the name of the blog, but instead I will change the direction of it. I AM TRACI, the Traci that I was looking for for so many years now. My new direction and goal is to touch as many lives here on earth before I am taken to live eternally with my Heavenly Father. Two separate times in two years he has spared my life here on earth, so I am going to make the most of however much time I have left here. God is in control of my life now and and I am thankful for that. I am at peace and filled with the Holy Spirit! It doesn't get any better than that.
Love TRACI