When He calls my name

So much has been going on. So many lessons have been learned. And so many prayers have been answered, I can not keep up with them on the blog. This one needs to be documented. I need to hold myself accountable. So here it goes...(back story) over a year ago the Lord asked me to quit drinking. It was a big ordeal and Jason I both in the end brought to the Lord and were obedient. Months went by and we did not have a single drink. Then after Kaiser was born we began finding reasons "why it was OK to have ONE drink" then it was two. Never any more than that, but we were still taking it back into our own hands... and making legit reasons why it was OK.)
This morning I was woken up by the Lord. If you have never experienced this before it is quite scary. As a Mom I wake up often in the night responding to different sounds throughout the house. But this is different. One minute I am happily sleeping and the next minute I am staring conviction right in the face. Not guilt or condemnation... conviction and My King right there surrounding me in the dark of the early morning hours. I heard the Lords voice as clear as day, "Traci, I have been whispering to you about this one thing, but your stubbornness keeps getting in the way. Your lack of self discipline keeps playing a role in there too. I am done whispering. I am coming to you out of love, I have asked you to let go of alcohol. You were obedient, but then you took it back into your own hands. It is time you leave it at my feet and be obedient. The next time I ask wont be so nice. So what will it be?"
I replied, "Lord when you put it that way, of course I choose you. I will let it go and not let it be a barrier between us any longer. Thank you for loving me and coming to me like this. Lord I lay this at the cross and I will not go back. I ask for deliverance and forgiveness of this sin. I pray for self control. I ask that you would remove the very temptation. I used to be addicted to drugs and another lifestyle and you delivered me from those free and clear. I ask you to do the same with the alcohol now too. Thank you for your faithfulness even when I am faithless. Thank you Jesus, Amen"
and then just as fast as I was woken up from a deep sleep I fell right back into one. When I woke up this morning, I could feel the Lord smiling at me and even a little wink. Then I felt the need to tell a close reliable prayer warrior/best friend so she could pray over me and hold me accountable so I was not entering this alone.
The other neat addition to this early morning moment with God that I love so much is all of the teachings that came flooding back to mind. Some people don't understand how powerful the act of obedience of going to church each Sunday is. As a family we go to get fed, and then there are those Sundays where you might not leave feeling super amazing like you just learned so much you have to go tell everyone you know. BUT then these moments happen. What you put in, is what you get out. I am thankful we have been in church depositing truth so when the tough moments and choices come the Holy Spirit suddenly (with out me even asking) floods you with all of the truths you have been subconsciously storing up.
I am at peace with this decision it feels natural this time. As always I am an open book if you have any questions. Please be in prayer with me/us that this remains in the Lords hands this time and not sneak back into my own. Also please feel free to ask occasionally how I am doing, be specific, I wont be offended. I will appreciate it.
Lastly, please understand that this is a personal decision. This is not a bash on alcohol. Each person has their own reasons why they do or do not drink. I am just explaining my own personal reasons.
Love Traci