Revelations

This Christmas season was filled with revelations. I wish that I would have written more of them down, there were THAT many. But here is one I thankfully caught a photo of... So we had a friend over the other night. We were catching up and she was filling us in. She had left her very successful job making plenty of money and even enjoyed her work very much, to fill a place at her church. She is making over half less then what she was making before and has had to dramatically change her lifestyle because of it... (she has done so with nothing but joy as you can see it all over her face) as she explained her daily tasks of getting up early daily to pray over others to have devotions and time in the word daily. I was very happy for her, and also wanted that for myself, but since I choose to become a mother THAT was the season that I was in. Not mothering over other children. So I felt a bit sad in my heart that I couldn't be doing that too! Just like God, a few days later I finally had time and a desire to sit down and figure out Paisley's new and official home school curriculum. I locked myself in my room and was in there for over 8hrs! After I put all the binders together (which was NO small task) next I began learning how to understand  the daily lessons. How to read them how to prepare to teach them and how to teach them. Next I had to learn so that I could teach it to Paisley! Well after I was a few hours into it... I laughed out loud when I had a revelation. I heard the Lords voice ask me "What are YOU doing RIGHT now... is this not exactly what you were wanting?" As I looked around I had two Bibles out (two different versions for very clear understanding for ALL of the questions I know Paisley will be asking.) I had Bible lessons and every other lesson that all come directly out of scripture! I wasn't getting paid in monetary values but I am surely storing up my blessing IN heaven! I began this whole time of preparation on my knees in prayer, (this is personal but I am documenting it for my benefit for the future as I will be preparing these lessons EACH day and not just this once) I prayed out loud with my hands cupped open to the Lord, as a symbol of me giving myself and all my short comings to Him. It was also a symbol of me being open to accept all that I was going to need from Him to carry out this task successfully. Then Throughout the prayer the Holy Spirit came over me, and I began singing, I don't know what I sang, it was a new song. NOT one that I had heard before, but one the Holy Spirit put in me. As I finished singing the song I can't explain how I felt physically, emotionally and mentally. But full and at peace touch the surface! So Lord I want to thank you for being my everything. For using me to teach love and serve the two precious gifts you so specifically placed in our care. I thank you for the revelations, I hold them dear to my heart. I document them as a reminder in the hard times. When I am feeling inadequate to teach my daughter, and not good enough to selflessly love and serve my family. God YOU are enough. You are my portion. I am your daughter. I am special. I am important. You have called me to a purpose and in your strength, through your guidance I will march firmly ahead. Carry me when I need it. Fill me when I am empty. Wipe my tears when I cry and please oh please pick me up when I fall! I thank you Lord for your provisions. For your blessings and for your miracles. Thank you for the desire to leave MY highly successful job to stay at home and raise Paisley and Kaiser. Thank you for providing so abundantly along the way. Thank you for always making a way, even when there seemed to be no way. Praise you Lord for all that you have brought me through over the last 6 years. I started SO low, SO depressed and even more lonely. But I praise you God that I always have YOU. You are all I need, you will supply the rest, overly and abundantly because that is how much you love me. Jesus I love you. Thank you for loving me so deeply. Amen.

neglect

I have neglected my personal blog... for months now. This year has been filled with lessons learned and lessons learning. I can hardly keep track of them BUT I want to start again. The Lord is doing great works in my life, my husbands, my daughters, my sons and my brothers. The gratitude towards the Lord for His provisions and guidance upon each of us is inmeasurable. The Lord is answering prayers so fast I can hardly keep track of them. I was recently made aware that I am in a season of peace healing and growth. It is a season that makes me squirm, literally. I have a type A personally with a capital A. I am a doer by nature and ONLY feel good about myself when I am productive and have hard evidence of what I have been doing with my time. So naturally this season the Lord has put me in is one that makes me uncomfortable. After all we have been dragged through the last 5 years you would think I would be happy to just take a breather from all the hardships. But not me. I hesitated to even accept the fact that this is a new season and a season of putting into myself. Ugh it made me SO uncomfortable. I am praying more then ever before and praying like never before, I am praying for people and things I have never prayed for before. I am reading my Bible, I am studying my Bible. I am staying on track with my oh so perfect devotional. (Jesus Calling by, Sarah Young) along with a few other key books that are transforming and shaping my life. (Teaching Your Child How To Pray by, Rick Osborne, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Sabbath by Wayne Muller and The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace) I am hungry for God and history and understanding the Bible for the first time in my life. I am openly communicating with the Lord throughout my day during the good the bad and the dull. I am keeping a record of things that I am thankful for and it is teaching me a new way of life. Not just to be "thankful" but to see God in everything. To see God in the good the bad and the everyday tasks like making meals and cleaning house. I am learning to accept just how much My God loves me and how much He has for me, if I just ask, and then if I just listen. God is constant, I am not. BUT I am learning to be. I am reaping the rewards daily of giving my life, my time my money and thoughts over to God at the start of each day. Then throughout the day asking for guidance and direction. He has the answer and I just need to be open to His way instead of planning it all MY way. I am seeing the benefits of my transformation blossoming through Paisley as well. Her heart for God and understanding is slowly growing and maturing before our eyes. Her most recent blessing took place one night while I was not at home. Jason was home with the kids and I guess as the sun was setting Jason found Paisley standing on our couch looking out the window into the sunset. The sky was bright pink and oranges with purple too. She was jumping up and down shouting (yes SHOUTING) "Thank you Jesus, oh Lord, Thank you so much. Oh Jesus I just love it, thank you...." on and on as Jason explained. I started crying when he told me. A few nights before her and I were watching the same sun set from the same couch. As the sky lit up with gorgeous colors from Gods pallet, I grabbed her and explained that the art in the sky was a very special gift, a gift JUST for Paisley. I asked her whose favorite colors were lighting up the sky? She replied proudly, "mine Momma mine!" and I told her "Yes Paisley, that is because God loves you so much and more, He decorated that sky tonight just for you!" She didn't seem all that enthused and hopped down and continued playing. I was sad at the moment thinking maybe she didn't understand or worse yet, she didn't care.(therefore I am not doing my job as a mommy very well...)Apparently she was listening. The Lord showed me in that moment that all He asks of me is to teach, to be an example and to LOVE my children, HE will do the rest... The Lord is also growing a love and a relationship between Jason and I that I could have only hoped for. We will be married 6 years this October and our first 5 years of marriage have been HARD. But the Lord is faithfully using all of the struggles and hardships to glue us together tighter then ever. I have never been so attracted and in love with him, all of him. Praise God for that!
Oh Lord,
To you I am thankful. To you I owe my all. To you I shout praises and glory to your name alone. I fall before you, you are my King. Lord Jesus I love you. I am thankful for your steadfast love. Your steadfast promises. I thank you for all you have blessed us with financially. I thank you that you answer prayers and you are faithful. Praise you Jesus.

When He calls my name

So much has been going on. So many lessons have been learned. And so many prayers have been answered, I can not keep up with them on the blog. This one needs to be documented. I need to hold myself accountable. So here it goes...(back story) over a year ago the Lord asked me to quit drinking. It was a big ordeal and Jason I both in the end brought to the Lord and were obedient. Months went by and we did not have a single drink. Then after Kaiser was born we began finding reasons "why it was OK to have ONE drink" then it was two. Never any more than that, but we were still taking it back into our own hands... and making legit reasons why it was OK.)
This morning I was woken up by the Lord. If you have never experienced this before it is quite scary. As a Mom I wake up often in the night responding to different sounds throughout the house. But this is different. One minute I am happily sleeping and the next minute I am staring conviction right in the face. Not guilt or condemnation... conviction and My King right there surrounding me in the dark of the early morning hours. I heard the Lords voice as clear as day, "Traci, I have been whispering to you about this one thing, but your stubbornness keeps getting in the way. Your lack of self discipline keeps playing a role in there too. I am done whispering. I am coming to you out of love, I have asked you to let go of alcohol. You were obedient, but then you took it back into your own hands. It is time you leave it at my feet and be obedient. The next time I ask wont be so nice. So what will it be?"
I replied, "Lord when you put it that way, of course I choose you. I will let it go and not let it be a barrier between us any longer. Thank you for loving me and coming to me like this. Lord I lay this at the cross and I will not go back. I ask for deliverance and forgiveness of this sin. I pray for self control. I ask that you would remove the very temptation. I used to be addicted to drugs and another lifestyle and you delivered me from those free and clear. I ask you to do the same with the alcohol now too. Thank you for your faithfulness even when I am faithless. Thank you Jesus, Amen"
and then just as fast as I was woken up from a deep sleep I fell right back into one. When I woke up this morning, I could feel the Lord smiling at me and even a little wink. Then I felt the need to tell a close reliable prayer warrior/best friend so she could pray over me and hold me accountable so I was not entering this alone.
The other neat addition to this early morning moment with God that I love so much is all of the teachings that came flooding back to mind. Some people don't understand how powerful the act of obedience of going to church each Sunday is. As a family we go to get fed, and then there are those Sundays where you might not leave feeling super amazing like you just learned so much you have to go tell everyone you know. BUT then these moments happen. What you put in, is what you get out. I am thankful we have been in church depositing truth so when the tough moments and choices come the Holy Spirit suddenly (with out me even asking) floods you with all of the truths you have been subconsciously storing up.
I am at peace with this decision it feels natural this time. As always I am an open book if you have any questions. Please be in prayer with me/us that this remains in the Lords hands this time and not sneak back into my own. Also please feel free to ask occasionally how I am doing, be specific, I wont be offended. I will appreciate it.
Lastly, please understand that this is a personal decision. This is not a bash on alcohol. Each person has their own reasons why they do or do not drink. I am just explaining my own personal reasons.
Love Traci

Migraine miracles

We had a meeting for our trip going over the details and praying. I had had a migraine for 4 days and asked for prayer. By the time we were all done praying over myself others and our trip my migraine was gone. An hour later it returned and even worse then before, I asked for prayers again and it was gone within minutes and has not returned since! Praise God.

SOME of the baptism photos

These are a few that Jason was able to take on Sunday. The church was kind enough to take photos and a video too so I will have those eventually too. But for now here what Jason was able to snap!

Today I became

Today I became Traci. Today I gave my life over to the Lord, in full surrender. Today I became one with Christ. It was a great experience, a bit overwhelming though. The support from family and friends both near and far was a true blessing. It was a bit much having so many people around though... I am looking forward to having time to really digest it all. Each day it will get more and more personal as I draw closer to my Heavenly father!
Now that a few hours have passed and I have had SOME time to reflect on how I feel, I feel a sense of freedom and peace. A peace that is indescribable. I feel complete. My heart is not missing or lacking any longer. I can see God everywhere, in the trees and flowers His presence is everywhere, and now I have eyes to see it all. I feel like each night will be like the night before Christmas, I am filled with anticipation of being used by the Lord to bless others. I am anticipating helping others and loving on them like I could have never done on my own. I feel organized and focused for the first time in my life. The love that my heart feels brings me to tears, because I am worthy. I can not say that I have felt that before. My confidence and courage are not in my own abilities any more, they are in the Lord. So my tank of confidence and courage are over flowing. I can focus out ward on my family, friends and complete strangers because He is taking care of me, so that I can better take care of those around me in His name. The freedom I feel comes from knowing that nothing will have to be done in my strength but now I am accompanied by the Holy Spirit and all of heaven, so I will be unstoppable. Even though it has been hours since my baptism, I have felt life slow down. I do not feel anxiety or rushed. As long as I can remember, I was always a doer always having to be busy. But I am comfortable now to just slow down. Be more meticulous and sincere.
This is just a little bit of what I am feeling most of the feelings are just indescribable. But the main thing is that I have stepped into being TRACI. This whole blog was started a few years ago, I felt a void and I was trying to fill it. BUT that was just the problem I was trying to fill it instead of asking and letting the Lord fill me. He is the only one who can truely fill my heart with joy and love. I will not change the name of the blog, but instead I will change the direction of it. I AM TRACI, the Traci that I was looking for for so many years now. My new direction and goal is to touch as many lives here on earth before I am taken to live eternally with my Heavenly Father. Two separate times in two years he has spared my life here on earth, so I am going to make the most of however much time I have left here. God is in control of my life now and and I am thankful for that. I am at peace and filled with the Holy Spirit! It doesn't get any better than that.
Love TRACI

Near death

I guess the story picks up where my last blog entry ended. I was put on "hospital level" bed rest at home until the middle of Feb. (when Kaiser would be 37weeks and considered full term and safe to come out) Like I mentioned in the last entry (titled "unfortunate turn of events") we had just got a schedule figured out and were planning to make the most of the next few months while being on the strictest level of bed rest.
(When this occurred I was 29 weeks pregnant, 40 weeks is full term) It was Monday the 28th of December, 2009 I had previously been in the ER since 2AM and got discharged around 10AM. I spent the remainder of the day laying flat on my back. Then at the end of the night I fell asleep on the couch about 11PM while Jason was watching TV before heading to bed. At exactly midnight I was jolted awake by a warm wet feeling covering my pants and legs, my first panicking thought was that my water had broke. Which was a horrible thing because it meant Kaiser was coming and there was officially NO stopping him. I jumped up freaking out to Jason trying to explain what was happening when I looked down and saw that the entire couch cushion was soaked in nothing but blood. I headed to the bathroom. Jason was in shock at this point and grabbing stuff to clean the couch. As I was in the bathroom attempting to "clean up," I hollered out to Jason to wake up Paisley and get a bag packed for her right away. I called our good friends Amber and Joel (back story, they were over just hours earlier for dinner. With news of the bed rest they had brought us dinner and played with Pais for awhile. Before they left they mentioned that if anything happened and we had to return to the hospital again to call them since they live so close to the hospital and that they would take Paisley for us) Jason grabbed a beach towel and I threw on some new pants as we jumped in the Tahoe. I called all of our parents back in Oregon on the way to the hospital. I remember shaking terribly and having difficulties breathing. Jason was driving in his normal cautious way, when I urged him to safely run some red lights. (using the red lights as a stop sign instead of waiting for the green light. He was not up for it until I reminded him that I was dying and I would gladly explain it to any cop if we were to get pulled over) When we got to the hospital Joel and Amber where waiting for us. Jason took care of the drop off as I made my way in bleeding. As I sat in a wheel chair, the moron behind the counter took her sweet time checking me in. I had called on the way so they would be waiting for me up in labor and delivery. At this point it started to sink in that I may not make it and the same went for our unborn son. Then I started having a hard time breathing. I realized that I never got to say goodbye to Paisley. Words can't describe what went through my mind at that point.
They got me upstairs and in to my room. (ugh I hate this part) Well they started trying to stabilize me. They explained that there is nothing that they can do to stop the bleeding. They gave me a shot of steroids in my butt cheek. The steroids were to speed up Kaiser's lung development in case he came before he was full term. They got my IV set up after numerous times trying to find a vein. Then came the vomiting. Four times if I remember correctly. I was then set up with a catheter. I was not aloud to eat or drink ANYTHING not even a single ice chip to wet my throat and mouth. Then as if I was not miserable enough... they started me on an IV with a new medication, magnesium sulfate, the strongest one there is, to stop contractions (and it never did stop my contractions) This medication was HELL. It makes you feel like the blood pumping through your veins is literally on fire, anything that touched my skin felt 100 degrees and was very painful. Take flu symptoms (achy and fever)and times it by 10. Then I went into shock. This was the first moment that I thought I was leaving to see Jesus. I was laying there in the bed with Jason holding my hand. I could not breath or talk. Jason and a nurse are both coaching me along, "breathe Traci, breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth." They just kept repeating it over and over. I could hear them, and I thought I was doing what they were telling me but instead I was fading and everything was turning black, but bright white all at the same time... I know that doesn't make much sense. At some point I came back and was breathing fine. After that was the blood transfusion.They explained that since I had lost so much blood, if I had to have an emergency C-section that I would not make it. (During surgery you loose blood) By now it is roughly 8 Am on Monday the 29th of Dec. The Dr came in and informed us that I was not going to be going home until Kaiser was born. And that we would need to make arrangements because Paisley is not allowed anywhere in the hospital because of her age and the fact that it is "flu season" (SO LAME) so Jason began making phone calls and figuring out the "plan" for the next few months. Then Jason headed home to get some movies, the computer, shower stuff and clothes, just some of the things I/we would need to "live comfortably" in the hospital. (Jason and Amber had taken care of everything with Paisley so that was covered) Then Jason returned to the hospital and we put in a movie. I fell asleep around 2PM when all of the sudden I was woken up (again) from the intense flow of blood leaving my body. I was laying on my side when I fell asleep, I just simply opened my eyes and informed Jason to get a nurse right away. He walked around the bedside to take a look for himself, again not moving my body I just lifted the sheet and his face said it all. Next was the nurse, she walked in thinking it was just some more leaking... then her face said it all. I just kept hearing "code Green, code green" a nice man that I have never seen before rushed to my side and explained how an epidural works and that we were going in for an emergency c-section. If they do not get us in there now and get Kaiser out we would both die because of the amount of blood that I lost. I felt nothing but peace as a dozen or more Dr and nurses buzzed around the room and then rushed me to an OR. I was trying to control my breathing and not freak out even though that felt like the natural thing to do. I don't remember much else from there, they wheeled my bed into a tiny room with bright lights everywhere and I remember hearing panic in each of their voices. But yet I felt nothing but peace and comfort. As I was slipping away a man explained they did not have time for an epidural that I just needed to breathe deeply with the mask over my face and then suddenly... I was out.
During this time Jason explains that he was handed scrubs and was told to get out of his street clothes. He says it took him no more than a minute and when he stepped out of the bathroom EVERYONE including me and my bed were gone! He wandered the halls until he found someone and she directed him to a chair outside of the OR room. A Dr came out and explained to Jason that there was no time for the epidural and I was loosing a lot of blood but they would do everything they could to save his wife and son. Jason tells me at this point he dropped his head in his hands and told the Lord it was His will. He would except whatever outcome the Lord had planned for us. Jason also told me that at this point he felt nothing but peace and all of the support and prayers at this very specific moment. Then shortly after another Dr came out to inform Jason that Kaiser was fine and that he could see him in a minute before they rushed him up to the NICU. Jason asked how I was and the Dr told him that I was going to be OK but that I had lost a lot of blood. They directed him to where I would be recovering and what to expect.
I recall being in a dream world and talking about frosty the snowman and Disneyland. Then I reached for my tummy and that was when I realized that Kaiser was gone. I freaked out and started repeating where is Kaiser, is he OK, where is Paisley, is she OK? Where am I, what happened? Jason was standing there holding my hand and comforting me that they were both OK. This went on for a few hours I am told...
From there the rest is history. I wanted to document the experience for myself and my children so we can always have a specific record of this miracle the Lord performed for the Kenitzer family.
Kaiser Ray Kenitzer was born into the world on December 29th, 2009 at 3:04PM weighing 3lbs 2oz and 16 inches long. He will live the first few months of his life in the crazy chaotic world they call the NICU.

2yr old VS. 24yr old

Life is just hilarious isn't it... I have to just sit back and laugh at the fact that I consider myself to be fairly mature, at least most of the time. The last few weeks my prayers have been focused on mine and Paisley's relationship. She is entering in to a very interesting stage. She is learning to really talk and express herself. She is more independent then I would have ever expected (this early anyway) she is so smart and aware, picking up on everything... good bad and otherwise. I have found myself really struggling to stay "ahead of the game" and "on top of it all" mostly in the discipline category.
SO I have been praying often and hard about the dynamics between the two of us. Asking specifically for discernment, wisdom, patience and grace. The Lord put on my heart some things I was not exactly ready for. (go figure) It felt like he played a little movie just for me in my head... the jist of it was Paisley not getting her way and throwing a fit, then immediately I reacted to her fit by basically throwing one myself. It hit me really hard. It hurts to realize that you are making a situation worse and not better. It is even more emotional and personal when that person is a precious human being that I brought into this world. A little girl that I am responsible for and love more than life itself. To see and realize that (to a point) she was just mimicking what she saw me doing. How could I blame her? So I brought it up to Jason and we had a long talk regarding the discipline topic. It was not our first, that is for sure, BUT it did have a whole new spin. I felt the Lords presence on either side of the conversation and I felt more encouraged than condemned or discouraged. Jason was also able to add some very helpful (painful but helpful non the less) observations he had had himself and wasn't sure how or when to bring it up...
So in conclusion, I have learned a very important lesson. A very humbling lesson and one I need to be able to look back on OFTEN.
1. I need to relax. Short and simple. Now if only it were easier said then done! But with prayer and practice it is working.
2. DO NOT REACT. I am finding that to help keep me from REacting to Paisley's actions, I count to 5 in my head before saying a word to her. It helps me keep in perspective what is actually going on. 10 out of 10 times the fit she is throwing or the action she is doing that is making me upset is really NOT a big deal. Yes I need to address and give out consequences accordingly, BUT by acting, and not REacting, I am staying "in control" and I am not letting her rule the moment.
3. Act. Very similar to the last one. But when I ACT I find that I am staying calm, not raising my voice a lot more gets accomplished. For example she is throwing a fit while she has friends over. Before I would have just said "Paisley that is not OK, stop." Well that was me REacting. Now I am working on Acting. So I would say "Paisley please come here..." giving us both time to cool off a bit. Then I explain to her, " We do not act like that. If you want to keep it up you can get in trouble." and when she is really throwing a fit and working herself up, I ask her to tell me what wrong or upsetting her. I then explain that whining is not OK that she needs to talk about it instead. (Because she needs to be able to have emotions and express herself but there are better ways to do that, other then whining and or throwing a fit.)
4. Don't take it personal. Yeah I know it makes me look really immature, but (as Jason pointed out to me) I was taking it personal when she would back talk us or not listen the first time when we asked her to do something. I felt she "knew better" but as I am learning, she is still 2 and not 24... so yes she may have been told before, but she is still naturally going to test the boundaries, and that is not personal. So since I don't take everything to personal when my 2 year throws a fit, I am able to laugh at the situation, and better direct the moment.
5. Stay consistent. This one is not knew, but it never hurts to be reminded. Being consistent in my case is remembering CONSTANTLY #'s 1, 2, 3, 4 & 6.
6. Pray, pray, pray. It is another simple one, but oh so powerful. I may have learned a few lessons from my 2 year old, but the main thing is I can not do this on my own. So stay in prayer about it ALL and then I will be more equipped and prepared as the moments happen.

aaahhhhh deep breath. So now it doesn't have to be the 2yr old VS. the 24yr old. I have better tools to help me be the parent. I can rise to the occasion and not fall down to her level. (which is good for a 2yr old, but not for a 24yr old)

A big bag of change

Well recently I was put on bed rest and medication... just like we went through with Paisley's pregnancy. Little Kaiser was trying to come early, REALLY early. My body is responding well to the medication and the bed rest and the contractions are much less frequent and most of the time less painful and intense. My belly is growing much quicker then with Paisley and man he is low. Paisley went head down the last 6-8 weeks of her pregnancy (he is not head down yet, thankfully) but my entire uterus is much lower. I can not wear anything but a pair of shorts (and it is super cold outside) and one pair of leggings. I am even down to one shirt that fits, where he hits when I am wearing clothes is not very convenient :) So on the plus side it is working out that I pretty much live in my PJ's. I am now in my third trimester, and man is that exciting. I feel like I can see the silver lining now and that this whole struggle is doable. It doesn't just effect me though. It also effects Jason and Paisley. Now Jason not only works during the day but then has to help with chores around the house that he RARELY ever has to lend a hand at. I am eternally grateful that he does it with such a great heart, it makes it much easier to ask for help. Paisley is also effected, if I can't leave the house all day (or at least I am not REALLY supposed too...) (sometimes we just have to for our sanity!) but if I am home all day most days, then so is she. We have been doing lots of art projects for the Christmas season just sitting on the floor making stuff. She is a trooper though, and as a friend said to me recently, "Paisley would rather have a healthy brother then go to Disneyland." (I was complaining to her that our passes end and we wont get to take Paisley again as a family during the holidays)
After typing this all out I actually feel a lot more at peace. I know a lot of wonderful people are praying for us, and we can feel God working. It is nice to look back and see how much time has already passed, and that we really don't have far to go know. It is still emotional and challenging most of the time, but we can do this! I also keep reminding myself (as do others) that this is only for a season. I can look back at bed rest with Paisley and the time felt like FOREVER. Now looking back it is a drop in the hat! Thank you all for the support, prayers, visits, offers and gifts... we really feel blessed.

Well it is Sept

and praise God almost OCTOBER! We have had a long year with record visits from family and friends. It was great but I think it is safe to say we over did it. We talked and have decided to stay home for Christmas and enjoy our last Christmas as just the three of us. Paisley will be such a great age to better grasp all the traditions we have and take a bigger part in them with us and not just watch. I have received news that my Dad is getting married however, and possibly by the end of the year, so if that is so we will of course make it up to Oregon to be a part of that to welcome Kim and her beautiful daughters to the family!
It has been the hottest summer EVER (for us) and we are barely surviving with out AC... cooking or should I say not cooking has been the hardest part. I enjoy cooking and since it is so HOT I can not use the oven or stove, and well it has been months... needless to say I have never been SO ANXIOUS for fall. October 1st Jason and I will be celebrating 4 years of marriage. We are humbly proud. We know we could not have made it this far with out Jesus Christ in the middle of it. Of course the years where He was more accurately on the sidelines and not exactly in the middle where very rough and we had some close calls to giving up, BUT thankfully the Lord had other plans for us. Now days we work hard to keep the Lord in the middle of our everything, and as often as possible pray that He goes ahead of us in our day to day routines, it is amazing (amazing but no surprise) that those days always go much smoother then the days I do not make time to call on Him.
I called this year (2009) out to be MY year. It has been just that. The Lord has worked in me like never before. I feel so full of love and better understanding of my Heavenly Father. As we learned Sunday at church that the better we understand God, the better we KNOW Him. Some days I don't make time and find myself feeling "further away" than I am comfortable with, and others I stop myself and slow down... I love those days. We also learned that God has called out upon each of us an authority. That hit me pretty hard. I know I am a courageous person and that I have never had a problem standing up for things that I believe in, but this was a different twist. It encouraged me to get even closer with the Lord so that by understanding Him more I will KNOW His will for me, and once I know His will for me as a daughter of Christ, a wife and a mother (among other things) I can go forth more boldly than ever before. Pastor Ryan read through Mark chapter 4 and brought up something I had never considered when reading that story. Ryan explained that when Jesus asked His disciples to go across to the other side He meant it, that was their calling out. When the wind and rains came and began flooding their boat, they cried out to God and asked him why he was letting them perish. God calmed the wind and the rain, but then looked to his men disappointed that THEY had not called the winds and rain knowing in faith that God was the one that asked them to go to the other side in the first place. I had always just seen the miracle in the story that God saved them and controlled the weather... but there was so much more there in that story, and for me it hit home. So before I can call out in faith authority over my home, family neighbors and whatever else, I need to get down to the basics and understand God better. One other thing I wrote down in my notes that sums this up for me is the definition of Authority. Authority-is the freedom to act, the power to act. Well I am going to work on understanding and doing just that. Walking Tall in the Kingdom.
I ordered some new books to help me along the way that I think will be very encouraging, once I start reading them I will let you know if I would suggest them or not.
In short (haha) life is going good. Baby is healthy and the pregnancy is going by faster at least for a little while now... Paisley is growing like a weed inside and out. She is definitely living up to the meaning of her name even at the age of 2. She is full of life and spreads life wherever she goes, praise God! She got a bike and started her first dance class to give her a creative outlet , independence and learn to be with other kids and listen to a teacher, we were so proud of her. She is of course our child though and we work daily on her stubbornness and strong will, both can be good in ways and not in other ways, so we are trying to stay on top of those characteristics as well. She loves "reading" and singing to my belly and kissing it often. Jason puts her to bed each night and I guess last night she said her own prayer " Jesus thank you for, five... Jesus love Momma, Daddy, baby... Jesus amen" haha gotta love it!
Well again we are just waiting for fall and all the wonderful Holiday traditions that come with it. This is going to be a perfect ending to a wonderful year. I can't imagine what the Lord will be bringing us next year, besides a new bundle of joy to complete our family! Oh my...
Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling, but now you are caught up.
Love Traci

jewelry sales

Well as you may have heard I have had much success recently with my jewelry. It started from a dare... my brother and I talk every other week about accountability. We each pick something we want to work on. A few weeks ago mine was my jewelry. I have not given it much thought for a while and I mentioned that. Well Eric dared me to take it into at least two stores before the next week (it was already Thursday) instead of arguing with him and trying to explain all the work that is was going to take before I brought it to any stores... I just agreed went for it and now I am in three stores as of now I have 3-4 more that want my jewelry! SO on that note the Lord is answering my prayers and giving me strength, courage and support to go out there and put my product in the stores hands. We will see how they actually sell once in stores, but I did my part :) Oh and THANK YOU ERIC!!!

Thank you dear Jesus for being my friend, and my support. Thank you for knowing my heart and dreams and pushing me gently where you want me to go. You have given me skills and I want them to glorify you. I have so many more skills I have yet to put to use, I am in the process of that, please fill me with creativity and use me to make beautiful gifts that will bless people and bring cheer to their lives, especially in these economical times. I love you and I praise your name. Amen

passes to Disneyland

To some this may sound shallow... but to us the gift of premium Disneyland passes that we so humbly received from my Aunt Teri and parents were a huge blessing.
it allows Jason and I a free date night as long as we can find a babysitter. It allows us a free place to get away as a family. It lets me and Pais have something fun and new to go do besides walk around the mall! We can go with other people when they come to visit or if they live here and have passes too... all in all it is a huge blessing we never saw coming and we are so so thankful for it!

recap on 2008

Well I sure wish I was doing this before because 2008 was a huge year for us as a family. God answered so many prayers and so many people went through a lot of those tests with us, in the end many people knew the Lord was at work in our lives.
From what I can think of currently that the Lord answered in 2008:
*Every month month that we lived in California the Lord has brought a miracle to us allowing us to make rent, each month a different obstacle and then a different miracle that we could have never seen coming.
*Money blessings from different friends and family members at different times. We never asked, quite possibly mentioned our scenario at a certain time (roommates coming and going/Dr. bills popping up/ unforeseen bills coming up at horrible moments... to name a few) but never asked, and so many people have just mailed or "snuck into our garage" you know who you are... leaving us generous amounts of money.
*Places to live at prices unheard of with perks we could not of even imagined or prayed for.
*Friends new and old sharing their lives with us at times I personally needed it most.
*Good health
*A consistent job for Jason
*A new church
I could go on but these are what come to mind for now...
The Lord orchestrated all of the instances and the glory goes to Him.
Thank you dear lord for your faithfulness and love. MUAH