neglect

I have neglected my personal blog... for months now. This year has been filled with lessons learned and lessons learning. I can hardly keep track of them BUT I want to start again. The Lord is doing great works in my life, my husbands, my daughters, my sons and my brothers. The gratitude towards the Lord for His provisions and guidance upon each of us is inmeasurable. The Lord is answering prayers so fast I can hardly keep track of them. I was recently made aware that I am in a season of peace healing and growth. It is a season that makes me squirm, literally. I have a type A personally with a capital A. I am a doer by nature and ONLY feel good about myself when I am productive and have hard evidence of what I have been doing with my time. So naturally this season the Lord has put me in is one that makes me uncomfortable. After all we have been dragged through the last 5 years you would think I would be happy to just take a breather from all the hardships. But not me. I hesitated to even accept the fact that this is a new season and a season of putting into myself. Ugh it made me SO uncomfortable. I am praying more then ever before and praying like never before, I am praying for people and things I have never prayed for before. I am reading my Bible, I am studying my Bible. I am staying on track with my oh so perfect devotional. (Jesus Calling by, Sarah Young) along with a few other key books that are transforming and shaping my life. (Teaching Your Child How To Pray by, Rick Osborne, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Sabbath by Wayne Muller and The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace) I am hungry for God and history and understanding the Bible for the first time in my life. I am openly communicating with the Lord throughout my day during the good the bad and the dull. I am keeping a record of things that I am thankful for and it is teaching me a new way of life. Not just to be "thankful" but to see God in everything. To see God in the good the bad and the everyday tasks like making meals and cleaning house. I am learning to accept just how much My God loves me and how much He has for me, if I just ask, and then if I just listen. God is constant, I am not. BUT I am learning to be. I am reaping the rewards daily of giving my life, my time my money and thoughts over to God at the start of each day. Then throughout the day asking for guidance and direction. He has the answer and I just need to be open to His way instead of planning it all MY way. I am seeing the benefits of my transformation blossoming through Paisley as well. Her heart for God and understanding is slowly growing and maturing before our eyes. Her most recent blessing took place one night while I was not at home. Jason was home with the kids and I guess as the sun was setting Jason found Paisley standing on our couch looking out the window into the sunset. The sky was bright pink and oranges with purple too. She was jumping up and down shouting (yes SHOUTING) "Thank you Jesus, oh Lord, Thank you so much. Oh Jesus I just love it, thank you...." on and on as Jason explained. I started crying when he told me. A few nights before her and I were watching the same sun set from the same couch. As the sky lit up with gorgeous colors from Gods pallet, I grabbed her and explained that the art in the sky was a very special gift, a gift JUST for Paisley. I asked her whose favorite colors were lighting up the sky? She replied proudly, "mine Momma mine!" and I told her "Yes Paisley, that is because God loves you so much and more, He decorated that sky tonight just for you!" She didn't seem all that enthused and hopped down and continued playing. I was sad at the moment thinking maybe she didn't understand or worse yet, she didn't care.(therefore I am not doing my job as a mommy very well...)Apparently she was listening. The Lord showed me in that moment that all He asks of me is to teach, to be an example and to LOVE my children, HE will do the rest... The Lord is also growing a love and a relationship between Jason and I that I could have only hoped for. We will be married 6 years this October and our first 5 years of marriage have been HARD. But the Lord is faithfully using all of the struggles and hardships to glue us together tighter then ever. I have never been so attracted and in love with him, all of him. Praise God for that!
Oh Lord,
To you I am thankful. To you I owe my all. To you I shout praises and glory to your name alone. I fall before you, you are my King. Lord Jesus I love you. I am thankful for your steadfast love. Your steadfast promises. I thank you for all you have blessed us with financially. I thank you that you answer prayers and you are faithful. Praise you Jesus.