The Bait of Satan -Your response determines your future- By John Bevere
I just started this book a friend s is letting me borrow it...
This book it hitting home with me and very encouraging. Thank you Vanessa, just when I needed it too!
(on the back it reads)
-are you compelled to tell your side of the story?
-Do you fight thoughts of suspicion or distrust?
-Are you constantly rehearsing past hurts?
-Have you lost hope because of what someone else did to you?
Each of those hit me in different ways at different moments... If any of them strike you I suggest reading it as well!
Monday, December 21, 2009
BECOMING TRACI 2009
Becoming Traci 2009
Serve your heavenly Father. Check. Love your husband. Check. Love your daughter. Check. Manage your home. Check. Care for your soul. Huh??? Caring for my soul and becoming Traci is my goal for 2009. This blog is to hold me accountable, track my progress and encourage me throughout the year ahead. This is going to be MY year...
As you read above this blog is to hold me accountable, keep be going and not loose sight of who I am capable of being. God made me. God made me to do wonderful things. Being a Mommy is a wonderful calling, but there is so much more to me. I have so much more in me that I am going to be, 2009 is going to be a starting point for me. Comments are encouraged and opinions are wanted. Welcome 2009 and the beginning of a new life for me... TRACI!
Serve your heavenly Father. Check. Love your husband. Check. Love your daughter. Check. Manage your home. Check. Care for your soul. Huh??? Caring for my soul and becoming Traci is my goal for 2009. This blog is to hold me accountable, track my progress and encourage me throughout the year ahead. This is going to be MY year...
As you read above this blog is to hold me accountable, keep be going and not loose sight of who I am capable of being. God made me. God made me to do wonderful things. Being a Mommy is a wonderful calling, but there is so much more to me. I have so much more in me that I am going to be, 2009 is going to be a starting point for me. Comments are encouraged and opinions are wanted. Welcome 2009 and the beginning of a new life for me... TRACI!
1 Corintians 10:13
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Galations 6 8-9
Galations 6 8-9
The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the spirit, from the spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will a harvest if we do not give up.
The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the spirit, from the spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will a harvest if we do not give up.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
2yr old VS. 24yr old
Life is just hilarious isn't it... I have to just sit back and laugh at the fact that I consider myself to be fairly mature, at least most of the time. The last few weeks my prayers have been focused on mine and Paisley's relationship. She is entering in to a very interesting stage. She is learning to really talk and express herself. She is more independent then I would have ever expected (this early anyway) she is so smart and aware, picking up on everything... good bad and otherwise. I have found myself really struggling to stay "ahead of the game" and "on top of it all" mostly in the discipline category.
SO I have been praying often and hard about the dynamics between the two of us. Asking specifically for discernment, wisdom, patience and grace. The Lord put on my heart some things I was not exactly ready for. (go figure) It felt like he played a little movie just for me in my head... the jist of it was Paisley not getting her way and throwing a fit, then immediately I reacted to her fit by basically throwing one myself. It hit me really hard. It hurts to realize that you are making a situation worse and not better. It is even more emotional and personal when that person is a precious human being that I brought into this world. A little girl that I am responsible for and love more than life itself. To see and realize that (to a point) she was just mimicking what she saw me doing. How could I blame her? So I brought it up to Jason and we had a long talk regarding the discipline topic. It was not our first, that is for sure, BUT it did have a whole new spin. I felt the Lords presence on either side of the conversation and I felt more encouraged than condemned or discouraged. Jason was also able to add some very helpful (painful but helpful non the less) observations he had had himself and wasn't sure how or when to bring it up...
So in conclusion, I have learned a very important lesson. A very humbling lesson and one I need to be able to look back on OFTEN.
1. I need to relax. Short and simple. Now if only it were easier said then done! But with prayer and practice it is working.
2. DO NOT REACT. I am finding that to help keep me from REacting to Paisley's actions, I count to 5 in my head before saying a word to her. It helps me keep in perspective what is actually going on. 10 out of 10 times the fit she is throwing or the action she is doing that is making me upset is really NOT a big deal. Yes I need to address and give out consequences accordingly, BUT by acting, and not REacting, I am staying "in control" and I am not letting her rule the moment.
3. Act. Very similar to the last one. But when I ACT I find that I am staying calm, not raising my voice a lot more gets accomplished. For example she is throwing a fit while she has friends over. Before I would have just said "Paisley that is not OK, stop." Well that was me REacting. Now I am working on Acting. So I would say "Paisley please come here..." giving us both time to cool off a bit. Then I explain to her, " We do not act like that. If you want to keep it up you can get in trouble." and when she is really throwing a fit and working herself up, I ask her to tell me what wrong or upsetting her. I then explain that whining is not OK that she needs to talk about it instead. (Because she needs to be able to have emotions and express herself but there are better ways to do that, other then whining and or throwing a fit.)
4. Don't take it personal. Yeah I know it makes me look really immature, but (as Jason pointed out to me) I was taking it personal when she would back talk us or not listen the first time when we asked her to do something. I felt she "knew better" but as I am learning, she is still 2 and not 24... so yes she may have been told before, but she is still naturally going to test the boundaries, and that is not personal. So since I don't take everything to personal when my 2 year throws a fit, I am able to laugh at the situation, and better direct the moment.
5. Stay consistent. This one is not knew, but it never hurts to be reminded. Being consistent in my case is remembering CONSTANTLY #'s 1, 2, 3, 4 & 6.
6. Pray, pray, pray. It is another simple one, but oh so powerful. I may have learned a few lessons from my 2 year old, but the main thing is I can not do this on my own. So stay in prayer about it ALL and then I will be more equipped and prepared as the moments happen.
aaahhhhh deep breath. So now it doesn't have to be the 2yr old VS. the 24yr old. I have better tools to help me be the parent. I can rise to the occasion and not fall down to her level. (which is good for a 2yr old, but not for a 24yr old)
SO I have been praying often and hard about the dynamics between the two of us. Asking specifically for discernment, wisdom, patience and grace. The Lord put on my heart some things I was not exactly ready for. (go figure) It felt like he played a little movie just for me in my head... the jist of it was Paisley not getting her way and throwing a fit, then immediately I reacted to her fit by basically throwing one myself. It hit me really hard. It hurts to realize that you are making a situation worse and not better. It is even more emotional and personal when that person is a precious human being that I brought into this world. A little girl that I am responsible for and love more than life itself. To see and realize that (to a point) she was just mimicking what she saw me doing. How could I blame her? So I brought it up to Jason and we had a long talk regarding the discipline topic. It was not our first, that is for sure, BUT it did have a whole new spin. I felt the Lords presence on either side of the conversation and I felt more encouraged than condemned or discouraged. Jason was also able to add some very helpful (painful but helpful non the less) observations he had had himself and wasn't sure how or when to bring it up...
So in conclusion, I have learned a very important lesson. A very humbling lesson and one I need to be able to look back on OFTEN.
1. I need to relax. Short and simple. Now if only it were easier said then done! But with prayer and practice it is working.
2. DO NOT REACT. I am finding that to help keep me from REacting to Paisley's actions, I count to 5 in my head before saying a word to her. It helps me keep in perspective what is actually going on. 10 out of 10 times the fit she is throwing or the action she is doing that is making me upset is really NOT a big deal. Yes I need to address and give out consequences accordingly, BUT by acting, and not REacting, I am staying "in control" and I am not letting her rule the moment.
3. Act. Very similar to the last one. But when I ACT I find that I am staying calm, not raising my voice a lot more gets accomplished. For example she is throwing a fit while she has friends over. Before I would have just said "Paisley that is not OK, stop." Well that was me REacting. Now I am working on Acting. So I would say "Paisley please come here..." giving us both time to cool off a bit. Then I explain to her, " We do not act like that. If you want to keep it up you can get in trouble." and when she is really throwing a fit and working herself up, I ask her to tell me what wrong or upsetting her. I then explain that whining is not OK that she needs to talk about it instead. (Because she needs to be able to have emotions and express herself but there are better ways to do that, other then whining and or throwing a fit.)
4. Don't take it personal. Yeah I know it makes me look really immature, but (as Jason pointed out to me) I was taking it personal when she would back talk us or not listen the first time when we asked her to do something. I felt she "knew better" but as I am learning, she is still 2 and not 24... so yes she may have been told before, but she is still naturally going to test the boundaries, and that is not personal. So since I don't take everything to personal when my 2 year throws a fit, I am able to laugh at the situation, and better direct the moment.
5. Stay consistent. This one is not knew, but it never hurts to be reminded. Being consistent in my case is remembering CONSTANTLY #'s 1, 2, 3, 4 & 6.
6. Pray, pray, pray. It is another simple one, but oh so powerful. I may have learned a few lessons from my 2 year old, but the main thing is I can not do this on my own. So stay in prayer about it ALL and then I will be more equipped and prepared as the moments happen.
aaahhhhh deep breath. So now it doesn't have to be the 2yr old VS. the 24yr old. I have better tools to help me be the parent. I can rise to the occasion and not fall down to her level. (which is good for a 2yr old, but not for a 24yr old)
whats new... (before 2010)
Well had some dreams and goals to accomplish this year. I wish I could honestly say that they were all accomplished (since it is now Dec of 2009) BUT I did not. Surprisingly I am OK with it all though. The deeper goals that I had like praying, reading and worshiping on my own more often have been accomplished. I feel they are all part of the normal routine now and not just when it works for me. But also not routine in the fact that they are being done just to be done. A few of the more shallow goals were accomplished but not all. I didn't get to go snowboarding, or skydiving this year. But I am fine with the fact that I am expecting a little boy and both would put him at risk. So they can wait until next year! The bed rest is not helping either but again, I have plenty of more years to reach all of my goals while coming up with others. Some goals I was not expecting to accomplish this year have also been met... Paisley has been potty trained now since the middle of summer. We are having a baby boy around February of 2010. We were hoping to get pregnant this year, but we could have never imagined the joy of knowing we are having a boy to complete our family. Jason and I gave up drinking and having alcohol in the house. Well I guess I should get my list started for 2010... it will be interesting to see what I could possibly dream up after this amazingly successful, exciting and unforgetable year! Praise Jesus.
A big bag of change
Well recently I was put on bed rest and medication... just like we went through with Paisley's pregnancy. Little Kaiser was trying to come early, REALLY early. My body is responding well to the medication and the bed rest and the contractions are much less frequent and most of the time less painful and intense. My belly is growing much quicker then with Paisley and man he is low. Paisley went head down the last 6-8 weeks of her pregnancy (he is not head down yet, thankfully) but my entire uterus is much lower. I can not wear anything but a pair of shorts (and it is super cold outside) and one pair of leggings. I am even down to one shirt that fits, where he hits when I am wearing clothes is not very convenient :) So on the plus side it is working out that I pretty much live in my PJ's. I am now in my third trimester, and man is that exciting. I feel like I can see the silver lining now and that this whole struggle is doable. It doesn't just effect me though. It also effects Jason and Paisley. Now Jason not only works during the day but then has to help with chores around the house that he RARELY ever has to lend a hand at. I am eternally grateful that he does it with such a great heart, it makes it much easier to ask for help. Paisley is also effected, if I can't leave the house all day (or at least I am not REALLY supposed too...) (sometimes we just have to for our sanity!) but if I am home all day most days, then so is she. We have been doing lots of art projects for the Christmas season just sitting on the floor making stuff. She is a trooper though, and as a friend said to me recently, "Paisley would rather have a healthy brother then go to Disneyland." (I was complaining to her that our passes end and we wont get to take Paisley again as a family during the holidays)
After typing this all out I actually feel a lot more at peace. I know a lot of wonderful people are praying for us, and we can feel God working. It is nice to look back and see how much time has already passed, and that we really don't have far to go know. It is still emotional and challenging most of the time, but we can do this! I also keep reminding myself (as do others) that this is only for a season. I can look back at bed rest with Paisley and the time felt like FOREVER. Now looking back it is a drop in the hat! Thank you all for the support, prayers, visits, offers and gifts... we really feel blessed.
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